Vici

[Giorgio Armani]

> Dane in Brane dobita službo v oglaševalskem oddelku tovarne žebljev.
> Njuna prva naloga je izdelava jumbo plakata za žeblje, ki jih
> proizvajajo. Čez nekaj dni, ko ju doleti razsvetljenje, predstavita
> svojo idejo. Komisija šokirana ostane brez besed.
> Na plakatu je namreč narisan velik križ, pod njim pa Kristus, ki je
> padel z njega.
>
>
> In geslo: Z NAŠIMI ŽEBLJI SE VAM TO NE BI MOGLO ZGODITI!

[Fresh]

LOL!
Fresh

[zombi]

Blonde Medical Terminology

Artery -- Study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section -- District in Rome
Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- Sheep dog
Coma -- A punctuation mark
Congenital -- Friendly
D&C -- Where Washington is
Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events
Dilate -- To live long
Enema -- Not a friend
Fester -- Quicker
Fibula -- A small lie
G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- Suitcase
Hangnail -- Coathook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee
Labor pain -- Got hurt at work
Medical staff -- Doctor's cane
Morbid -- Higher offer
Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
Node -- Was aware of
Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- Letter carrier
Protein -- Favoring young people
Rectum -- It almost killed him
Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- Amorous
Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- Hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- Study of knighthood
Tablet -- Small table
Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
Tibia -- Country in North Africa
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein -- Conceited

[N']['H]

rofl

[Giorgio Armani]

ZAKAJ IMAJO VSI ORGANI ZENSKA IMENA ???

KO PRIDEJO SO DIVJI IN VLAZNI, KO GREJO PA TI ODPELEJO AVTO IN HISO

[LaserJaMM]

ORKANI

[xandrej]

rezultati zadnje enkete:


MENITE, DA JE V SLOVENIJI PREVEC TUJCEV?

1. 5% je odgovorilo NE!
2. 10% je odgovorilo DA!
3. 85% je odgovorilo z TO U OPŠTE NIJE MOJ PROBLEM!

[Fresh]

sam tole je pomoje fotomontaza
Fresh

[xandrej]

Ni fotomontaža... 100%!!! Slikal kolega...

[Fresh]

- Lubi, a ti jajčka spečem?

- Piz.da, a ti jest jošk odrežem???
Fresh

[Giorgio Armani]

Mujo
Veli doktor Muji:

Morate dati uzorak krvi, stolice, urina i sperme.

Mujo:
Evo ti, bolan, gaće, tu ti je sve!

[N']['H]

Non-English speaking countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists:


Cocktail lounge, Norway:

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctor's office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a Nairobi private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

The best!!! In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS - WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

The best!!!! In a Japanese cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

[VECTRA 2.0]

REKLAMACIJA
sem jebeni potnik iz ove destinacije matr vam turistično........
gospa šefica za egipt, sorry šarm el šejk
hvala za tak dopust,
>1. adria zamujala na brniku skor 3 ure, baje smo čakal važga vodiča ker je
>mel
>izpit na faxsu, matr vam študentsko
>2.v avionu ni piva mrzuga, jebe jih baje hladilnik...
>3. stevardesa neprijazna, sem čaku na wiski 45 min., baje zarad turbolence,
>boli me za to pa naj tablet uzame al pa doma ustane...nešolana
>4. v šarmu vroče ko svina, to ni men na šalterju noben reku, matr vam
>nešolano,
>5. hotel oz. meven pik jajca bi reku lahko temu, recepcija mrzla od klime
>da
>je žena prec vzela coldrex (upam da veste kaj je to , matr vam nešolano),
>pol
>mi je v recepciji en črn v smešni uniformi hotu spizdit vse kufre, matr vam
>arabsko. Sem ga prec prtegnu ko vola, mene nebojo jebale kamele.
>6. sobo smo čakal 3 ure, ker so popravljal wc, ker so ga eni angleži
>demuleral,
>jebem jim kralico neutesanci pegasti
>7.spal smo slabo ker je žena skoz kašlala zarad jebene klime u sob, pol sem
>jo
>ugasnu pa smo se zbudl vsi zabuhli ker je blo 42c v sob, matr vam klimaško.
>8. sem šou v recepcijo in jim jebu arafata, pa so mi pol ponujal neke
>suite,
>boli me za slašice ker jih ne jem...
>9. zajtk u kurcu ene baklave ne znajo narest, kava za prašiče, vodo sam za
>drisko poplahnt,....
>10. bazen u kurcu totalno, nepravilne oblike neveš kje bi šou sploh not v
>vodo,
>povhn klora, sem mel usta ko malancani zvečer, žene nebi umenju ker ni šla
>iz
>sobe 2 dni zarad kože razžrte, matr vam klorerano
>11. na bazenu je skoz en zanam hodu z brisačam, pol smo se mal stepl pa je
>nehu, matr vam žeparsko al kaj je že bil on....
>12. plažo smo najdl po 3. dneh, a neznate dat kakšno mapo zraven vuherja,
>ker
>jest se nebom jebu dol z arafati k neznajo nč jezikov svetovnih, matr vam
>nešolano
>13. vodiča nismo vidl 2 dni, baje je ene pičke lovil, matr vam kurbersko
>14. uturavate izlete po vroči mivki, da sem fasu opekline na potplatih, ker
>je
>jebena žena pozabla papuče u fužinah u lubljan, še premal jo je klor zjebu,
>matr ji pozablivo
>15. potaplu sem se na koralah in urezu u roko, a nezna noben povedat, da so
>ostre ko svina, una na šalterju jih bo še dubla po pički, loh ga tud
>faše......
>16. na večerji smo se skor zastrupl, žena pa zadavla z nekimi škampi al kva
>je
>to ,a neznajo povedat prej, da se je samo repke
>ne pa celo žvau.
>17. zadn dan sem zvedu da smo mel olinkluziv, hvala , smo pa pijačo kupval
>u
>trgovin hotelski, draga ko svina, sploh wiski,
>18. avion za dam spet zamudu ko svina, baje zarad vremena nad grčijo, p****
>pilotova a nezna ukol grčije do nas, matr vam nešolano, sam stevardese bi
>nažigal.......
>19.u avion ista štala spet topu pir, grde stevardese, wiski zmankal, matr
>vam
>pijano.....
>
>pero zahouvič

[N']['H]

[Fresh]

Ze leta me daje utrujenost od dela, pa sem vedno krivil
pomanjkanje
vitaminov, pomanjkanje zeleza v krvi itd.
Dokler nisem odkril vzroka.
V Sloveniji je 1.964.036 ljudi. Od tega je 485.895 upokojencev.
Tako da dela le se 1.478.141 ljudi.
Od tega je 477.716 mladoletnih oz. solajojocoh in trije
ki ze od leta 50 delajo doktorat tako, da za delo
ostane le se 1.000.425 ljudi.
Od teh ljudi jih je cca 81.246 zaposlenih v vojski, policiji,
76.372 jih dela v vladnih organizacijah, tako da ostane le se
842.807 za delo.
Pa jih od tega polovica dela po obcinah in upravnih enotah in jih
ostane 421403 za delo.
1275 ljudi je zaprtih tako, da ostane 420.128 ljudi za delo.
420.126 ljudi je po bolnicah, pri zdravniku ali pa na bolniski,
tako, da za delo ostaneta le dva.
Ti in jaz...
Pa se ti samo na forumu beres...
Fresh